____________________________________________________ THE GOSPEL OBSERVER "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19,20). ____________________________________________________ January 16, 2000 ____________________________________________________ The Blessing of Change by Tom Edwards The above title will probably convey various meanings to people of different backgrounds--from the beggar on the street to the clotheshorse with his or her selections of multi-wardrobes to choose from. But the intent in today's article goes much deeper than that or deeper than anything that refers to change at only a mundane or physical level; for the ``change'' we will concern ourselves with is that inner, spiritual change for the better. As Paul writes, ``Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day'' (2 Cor. 4:16). And as he told the Ephesians, it is in the ``inner man'' that the Christian can ``be strengthened with power through His Spirit...'' (Eph. 3:16). But before this renewal and strengthening of the inner man can begin, there is a needful ``blessing of change'' that transforms the lost sinner into a saved saint, and transports that one ``from the domain of darkness'' into ``the kingdom of His [God's] beloved Son'' (Col. 1:13), so that those who were ``formerly darkness'' are now ``light in the Lord'' and are to ``walk as children of light'' (Eph. 5:8). It was Paul's mission to try to help people cross over from this ``darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, in order that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith'' in Jesus (Acts 26:18)--and to which Paul was fully obedient (vv. 19,20). In considering his three missionary journeys with all their arduous challenges--the ``imprisonments, beaten times without number,'' the ``often danger of death,'' the 195 lashes in being scourged, the three times beaten with rods, the time he was stoned, the three shipwrecks, and the night and the day that Paul spent in the deep, the frequent journeys, the perilous rivers, the dangers from robbers, the dangers from his own countrymen, the dangers from the Gentiles, the dangers in the city, the dangers in the wilderness, the dangers on the sea, the dangers among false brethren, ``in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure'' (2 Cor. 11:23-27)--we see just how totally dedicated the apostle was in carrying out God's will, in hopes that not only would others be converted to Christ, but also that those once converted would be strengthened to continue in the faith. We today, as children of God, need to follow in the footsteps of Paul and other faithful servants of the Lord, when it comes to their steadfastness in this great work of evangelism. Let us enter into this work--and continue--with the realization that anyone can change, and not make the mistake that some of the religious leaders of Jesus' day made in their remarks about Christ going to ``the tax-gatherers and sinners'' (Matt. 9:11). To these self-righteous, religious leaders, who viewed themselves with such high regard, there were certain ``sinners'' of their time that they, apparently, thought were too unworthy to even try to reach. But, ironically, it was these often-despised tax-gatherers and harlots who were accepting the way of the Lord, while the majority of the religious leaders of Israel were rejecting it (Matt. 21:32). Let us remember from this, that anyone can change--and sometimes even the most seemingly unlikely. Christ came into this world for sinners--even the vilest (Mark 2:17). When he forgave the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery and told her to ``sin no more'' (John 8:11), I'm of the persuasion that she sought to do what He commanded. We can almost feel the gratitude that must have flooded her soul when this mercy and compassion was shown to her--a gratitude that could lead to a change of life. Little acts of kindness can sometimes make a profound impact for the betterment of another. Zaccheus was so moved by the goodness of Jesus that he told the Lord that half of his possessions he would give to the poor; and that if he had ever defrauded anyone of anything, he would give that person back four times as much (Luke 19:8)--and I would imagine he could do this all gladly, since his heart was so filled with the joy of the Lord. In Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, Jean Valjean was imprisoned 19 years--five years for trying to steal bread for his hungry sister and her starving children, and 14 more years for trying to escape. On his release as, now, an ex-convict, he was having trouble finding acceptance with society--due to his past, like a dark hovering reflection, ever marring his present and future. But he soon found the goodness of a ``bishop'' who took him in, fed him, and gave him a night's lodging. The corrupt Valjean, however, showed his ``gratitude'' by stealing the man's silver and making a getaway with it--but a getaway that did not lead faraway. For, unfortunately for Valjean--but actually fortunately--he was caught by the gendarmes and taken back to the one whom he had claimed had ``given'' him the silver. On their arrival at the bishop's, the bishop seemed a little upset and mildly scolded Valjean for not taking the silver candlesticks, too, which he had also ``given'' him--and then retrieved them for him. Valjean ``opened his eyes and looked at the bishop with an expression which no human tongue could describe.'' He was set free--and not only from another incarceration, but also from his own corrupted self--as that magnanimous act of mercy revolutionized his thinking and caused him to become a new man: from then on he would strive to also be compassionate, selfless, and generous--truly living a sacrificial life for the good of others. I cite this story not to try to justify lying nor to try to show that ``turning over a new leaf'' is all that is necessary to be pleasing to God--both of which I believe would not be right--but to show how that good, major changes can come about through acts of kindness. And to think of this in terms of the superior changes that the gospel can bring to those who will accept it through kind and compassionate invitations. As Paul pointed out to the Romans, it is the ``kindness of God'' that leads to repentance (Rom. 2:4). What more noble or magnanimous act has this world ever seen than what God did in sending His Son in order that any lost soul might be saved? ``In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another'' (1 John 4:10,11). And how can we forget the immortal words of the apostle Paul who states in Romans 5:6-8: ``For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.'' May we each strive to show mercy and compassion to one another, even as Christ has shown to us. And may it also be our desire to see others transformed for the better by the power of the gospel--and do our part to make that possible--for there is no greater ``blessing of change'' than when a lost soul becomes a saved saint. ___________________________________________ Why Is It So Hard To Say, "I Love You"? by Al Diestelkamp Among the basic differences between men and women is the fact that women are generally more verbal than men. It is usually easy for them to express their feelings. Most men do not find it so easy to verbalize their feelings, especially having to do with love. When we finally do get around to expressing love, it is often associated with sexual desire. Why do we neglect opportunities to express our love in other ways? I suspect it has to do with our egos. Men have a tendency to think of themselves as God's gift to women, and because men are easily motivated by sexual desire we think it ``natural'' to express our love in that setting. It takes more effort for men to find other opportunities to express and show love for their wives, but it's worth it. Studies show that women struggle more than men from lack of self-worth. Therefore, she needs to be frequently reminded of her value. If this need is not satisfied, she will either seek fulfillment through other avenues, or she will become depressed. Many women are drawn to the business world where opportunities for self-fulfillment seem to abound. In extreme cases, they may be attracted to men other than their husbands as they reach out for the emotional and intellectual stimulation they are not getting at home. Forces within our culture have been working overtime to feed this dissatisfaction among women. Women who are ``workers at home'' (Tit. 2:5) are portrayed as inferior to those who are ``successful'' in the business arena. With this propaganda being dispensed so widely it is not surprising that so few are content with a role of voluntary submission. A godly man needs to recognize this tactic of the enemy and combat it by making his wife aware of her value to him. This is best conveyed by sincere words of praise and love. There was a time when it was rare that a married woman would commit adultery. However, with the cultural stigma of adultery almost gone, it is not at all unusual to hear of infidelity of wives. In fact, in spite of divine warning to the contrary (Isa. 5:20), our society has made the dreadful mistake of calling this evil ``good.'' Even so, very few wives would indulge in this sin if only their husbands would say something to make them feel better about themselves. Unlike the men they consort with, they probably have no intention of getting involved sexually. That comes after she has been made to feel important by one who treats her like her husband did when they first met. So, why is it so hard for men to say ``I love you'' to the women they love? It's hard because men are more action-oriented than verbal. We think we are saying ``I love you'' loud and clear when we go to work and when we fix something around the house, or buy some labor-saving device. And we can't imagine that she doesn't hear us say ``I love you'' when we show interest in ``lovemaking.'' But what she would like is meaningful conversation, tender touch and to hear the actual words, ``I love you.'' One man, tiring of his wife's asking if he loved her, finally told her in no uncertain terms that she could rest assured that he loved her more than he could ever tell her. She responded by saying, ``I would rather you loved me a little less, and told me so more often.'' The man may think that his wife, if she would just analyze the evidence, should know without a word from him that she is loved. However, she wants to know that his love is more than a responsibility. There may be several non-verbal ways to communicate this love, but none better than telling her often. Refusal to recognize her need (to be verbally reassured of your love), or ridicule of that need, will certainly drive a wedge which will not easily be removed. Understanding this basic need of women is the first step toward satisfying the need. Men are natural problem-solvers once they recognize a need. The wise husband will make the fulfillment of his wife's needs a high priority challenge. Once the verbal communication of your love has been established, other ways of saying ``I love you'' will enhance your relationship. Women are relationship-oriented. They love togetherness activities such as quiet talks, leisurely walks, holding hands and reminiscing. Occasional gifts at unexpected times can also enhance her feeling of value to you. Even men who may not be able to afford a dozen roses can get the same message across with a single rose (or carnation). If you can't afford a box of fancy chocolates, a favorite candy bar with a paper ribbon will send the same message. Almost as good as saying ``I love you'' with your lips is doing so in writing. Whether you purchase a card which expresses your feelings, or make your own love note, your thoughtfulness will be appreciated. Since women are usually highly ``relational'' beings, they cannot imagine their husbands failing to remember special occasions, such as her birthday or your anniversary. These and other special events can be used by the wise husband to let her know just how special she is to him. Oh, yes! There's one more idea you probably won't think of if I don't bring it up. You can tell your wife how important she is by doing some domestic chore which she usually must do. Doing the supper dishes or watching the children so she can go shopping with a friend is a way of telling her that she is important to you. Study & Apply 1 Cor. 13:4-8a Here we have a list of the characteristics of true love. Try applying all of these in your efforts to show love to your wife. Meditate on your own behavior toward your wife. Does your attitude and action reflect true love? Practical Suggestions When your wife does something you don't understand, put yourself in her place. Use kindness when you have a disagreement. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Say and do things which praise and elevate her instead of yourself. Show your love for her by not being easily provoked at her. Say to her, ``I love you.'' Make sure she knows your love will never fail. -- Via Think on These Things, April-May-June, 1999 ________________________________________ Tri-State CHURCH OF CHRIST 1314 Montgomery Avenue, Ashland, Kentucky 41101 Sunday: 10:00 A.M. Bible class 10:50 A.M. Worship 6:30 P.M. Worship Wednesday: 7:30 P.M. Bible study evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards (606) 325-9742 e-mail: tedwards@zoomnet.net Gospel Observer web site: http://www.zoomnet.net/~tedwards/go ________________________________________