____________________________________________________ THE GOSPEL OBSERVER ____________________________________________________ "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19,20). ____________________________________________________ April 13, 2003 ____________________________________________________ Suicide -- A Wrong Exit by Tom Edwards Just a few moments ago, I was talking with a young man who, mournfully, will be going to a "wake" tonight. A friend of his, who was just 18 years old, ended his life by hanging himself. We would most likely be amazed over all the number of people who have tragically ended their own lives by suicide. Deaths of this nature probably often go unmentioned as such in the news and obituaries; but we most likely have each known someone (if not several or more) -- even a friend, relative, or family member -- who, sad to say, has ended his or her life in this way. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more people die from suicide than from homicide. It is the eleventh leading cause of death for all Americans, and the third leading cause of death among young people from 15 to 24 years of age. Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females -- though females are more likely to attempt it. A young person (from 15 to 24) dies of suicide every 2 hours and 12 minutes; and for each one who does, there were actually 100 to 200 others who had attempted it. Other statistics show that in the United States (in the year 2000), 29,350 individuals died of suicide, which is an average of 80 people each day, 3.33 people each hour, or 1 person every 18 minutes. Out of this total: 23,618 were males, and 5,732 were females. Also, the total can be broken down as 26,475 who were white, 1,962 who were black, and 2,875 who were non-whites. (In addition, how many others also had died of suicide; but their deaths were mistakingly listed as being from fatal accidents instead?) Throughout time, people have killed themselves for various reasons. If you look at the statistics for suicide during the 20th century, you'll see a major increase of it -- and the greatest number -- during the 1930's, the period of the Great Depression. Numerous people went bankrupt, lost their homes, and their property. It was a time when multitudes were undergoing extreme poverty; and, as a result, many individuals had taken their own lives. It is tragically sad that they did, but would not a stronger faith in God have helped them through those troublesome times? In contrast, we read of those early Christians who, even while undergoing intense persecution, were able to persevere -- and do so gladly -- in spite of it all. The Hebrew writer addresses them by saying, "But remember the former days, when, after being enlightened, you endured a great conflict of sufferings, partly, by being made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations, and partly by becoming sharers with those who were so treated. For you showed sympathy to the prisoners, and accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward" (Heb. 10:32-35). Their faith in God enabled them to not only accept the confiscation of their property, but to also be able to do so "joyfully"; and the reason for this was because of their hope of heaven, where they had been laying up their treasures -- "...where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal" (Matt. 6:20). As Jesus says, "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matt. 6:21). Isn't that the kind of faith that you want? A faith that can see you through even the most challenging adversities of life? Another reason why many have taken their lives is because of having lost a loved one -- such as through death or through being rejected by that person so greatly loved. We think of Romeo and Juliet who felt as if they could not live without each other; and, therefore, both ended their lives when they saw the possibility of their togetherness on earth being an impossibility. How devastating the emotional pain of a broken heart can be -- but it will taper off, if you let it, until the heartache is no more. So give yourself time to heal. Romantic love does something to our brains. It actually can release endorphins that work as a natural opiate to the body, giving one a natural high. We can sometimes be made a little giddy by it -- and even say, do, and believe some silly things, as a result. One misconception that romantic feelings can instill is that the person whom you had loved so much -- but now are terribly brokenhearted over -- was "the only person in all the world who would have ever been the right one for you." If you think that way, you need to stop it. It's a deception, a myth. For in reality, there are many people who would be just as suitable -- and some even more so. So don't feel like your "purpose" in life is now ruined because you couldn't have the one you wanted. If you could talk with many people who were rejected years ago by someone that they truly loved above all others, you would probably find out that the pain, they once felt, has now been gone for a long time. Plus, you might even find many of these people to be glad that things never did work out back then the way they had originally wanted it to. For now they see it would have been a mistake. You might find that hard to believe now -- especially when obsessively focused on your own broken heart -- but, again, give it some time. For your emotions -- no matter how sincere and intense -- can still be deceptive and cloud out the possibility of many other beautiful realities for you. Reflecting on that which can help us psychologically is always to our advantage. For instance, when I quit smoking about 30 years ago, a thought that aided me was visualizing myself in a small white, windowless room that was empty except for a plain, wooden chair in the center of it and a clear plastic tube that came out of the wall. Through this tube was blown the tar and nicotine and other poisons that are found in tobacco smoke. The thought of picking up that tube to put in my mouth and inhale all those harmful pollutants seemed so senseless and ridiculous that in a couple days I had kicked the bad habit that was several years old. (Plus, I had also viewed it as not merely being senseless and ridiculous, but also as sinful; and that was really the greatest motivation for quitting the bad habit.) In encouraging someone to not do something so foolish as to take his own life, an elderly gentleman once said, "Don't cut off your head." Can you imagine someone doing that to himself? Rather bizarre, isn't it? Plus, it might also cause someone to reflect upon this in a spiritual way. As the Bible shows, Christ is the head of the church (Eph. 1:22,23) and also the head of the man (1 Cor. 11:3). How terrible to "cut off" one's head, when that head is Christ! We don't want to severe ourselves from the Lord! A thought occurred to me a few days ago for those who have been contemplating the taking of their own life: Instead of shooting yourself in the head or in the heart, why not just give yourself a little "trial run" and shoot yourself in your foot to see how it goes. It might be that you'll become so very concerned for that small member of your body feeling better that you'll totally forget your foolish notion to take your entire life. Of course, I say this with tongue in cheek about actually shooting even your foot; but it might do one well to seriously think about. Some say that suicide is "the coward's way out." If that be true, then this is another reason why it is wrong. For the Bible says that the "cowardly," along with the "unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars[,] shall have their part in the lake of fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Rev. 21:8). Note, too, from the previous verse, that the "murderers" are also another group that will perish in hell. One who commits suicide (in his right mind) is one who has murdered himself. Why should anyone feel that God has given him the right to do away with his own life simply because he wants to? Where's the Scripture that would authorize that? You didn't make yourself, and your very existence is not merely because of your mother and father. You need to go beyond that -- all the way back to God! Paul said that we (including even the non-believers) are the "offspring" of God, in the sense that He is our Creator (Acts 17:29); and the apostle told the Corinthians that their "body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...and that you are not your own...For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body" (1 Cor. 6:19,20). The great price the Christian was bought with is the precious blood of Jesus (1 Pet. 1:18,19), and I don't think we would hardly view suicide as being a way to "glorify" God with our bodies -- nor how to show our appreciation for the Lord's death on the cross for us. What if the patriarch Job had listened to his wife and cursed God and died when he became so beset with adversity and suffering? I'm glad he hung on to life -- and to God. His life is an encouragement to us! When very sad and depressed feelings "speak" to you of suicide, you need to realize that it might end your temporary problems of life -- but it would also begin your eternal problems of hell! Let the thought of hell, therefore, serve as a pretty good deterrent for you, in realizing that suicide would be the wrong way to go. It is not an answer for what ails you. Let us also realize that there are probably some people who commit suicide who are not in their right mind; and, therefore, God will have to be the one to judge; but for those who are in their right mind, it would truly be a sinful thing to do; and, therefore, it should be our desire to dissuade anyone from doing such. If you're having trouble dealing with your problems, find some good, professional people who can help you. You don't have to go it alone. I had a friend who was undergoing very serious clinical depression years ago and talking to the right counselor probably saved his life. He's now completely over it and doing very well. Some other suggestions, given by a suicide prevention website (http://www.211bigbend.org/hotlines/suicide/suicidal.htm), are as follows: "Talk to someone who has experience helping people in your situation: a crisis or suicide hotline; a private therapist, counselor, or psychologist; a community mental health agency; a school counselor; a family physician; a religious or spiritual leader." Also, if you don't like the counselor you're talking with, find someone else. My friend (mentioned above) found that the first person he talked to seemed to do him more harm than good. But soon he thankfully received just the right kind of help that he desperately needed from another counselor, whom he commends highly. It made a difference in seeing the right person. The suicide prevention website went on to say: "Develop a list of things that you can do when you are in crisis. When you find yourself getting overwhelmed, go down your list and do each thing until you are able to go on. For instance, your list might include: Do some deep-breathing exercises. Count to ten while breathing. Take a hot bath. Call a crisis hotline (keep the number with you and by the phone). Eat your favorite food. Watch a movie on TV. Read a magazine. Write in a journal. Call friends or support people (keep their numbers with you and by your phone). Go for a walk. Your list should contain many items that help you to calm down, and may not be like the list above at all. The important thing is that it is useful to you." I once had a friend who volunteered her services in doing social work, when she was going through a difficult time in her life. In seeing the suffering that others were experiencing, it also made her realize that her own problems weren't nearly as bad. Don't include illicit drugs and alcohol to your list. Not only would these things be sinful, but they could also lead to some very bad decisions on your part when under their influence. With your judgment distorted and your lacking of restraint, due to the drugs or alcohol, it could easily give you a stronger urge to do away with yourself -- rather than just numbing your feelings -- and with your resistance diminished, that could lead to a fatally serious result. For my "list" of things to help one through some difficult emotions, I would certainly include prayer at the top for the Christian. Use your times of suffering to draw nearer to the Lord. Meditate on His word, and strive to obey Him. Receive spiritual strength also through God's people by spending time with them -- and especially at church. Have a few real good friends you can confide in, as part of your "support group." Also, spend some time outdoors in a comfortable lawnchair when the weather is pleasant -- whether around your home, at a park, in the mountains, in a secluded area along a gulf, ocean, or sea, etc. -- whatever appeals to your esthetic nature. It can be a great place to read, to meditate, to pray, to praise God, to go for beautiful walks, and to simply observe and experience the day. Having a relationship with the Lord and enjoying the grandeur, tranquility, and beauty of His creation -- and being grateful for it all -- can truly be therapeutic and restorative. It might take a little while in your healing process, however, before you can truly appreciate the restorative value of God and nature. Losing the will to live, for example, makes just getting through the day seem like a major accomplishment. But when you experience that "resurrection" of the will, you'll gladly welcome it back in your life. Sadness, heartache, and tears will probably still continue for a while; but having the will to live will help you better endure, while the emotional suffering is tapering off. You'll truly realize how important that will is -- and that it is a helpful blessing that should never be taken for granted. It can also be a humbling experience to have your heart broken and healing -- with God's help -- at the same time. During that period, you can actually make some good use out of your own suffering, such as in being more sympathetic or tender-hearted toward the various adversities other people are going through, and being motivated by that genuine concern to find comfort in helping them, during their time of need. It can also give you more insight into some great works of poetry and other good writings, to better identify with or to experience a stronger vicariousness and find the writer's thoughts evoking deeper emotions that can be cathartic for your soul -- to be reading more with your heart than with just your mind -- and to find it all very rich and meaningful. In closing, if you are depressed with suicidal feelings, I hope the thoughts presented in this article will be helpful for you. Concentrate especially in building a relationship with God and doing those things that will ease your mind. Do good for yourself, trying techniques that will be best for you. But if these different methods don't seem to be helping you in overcoming your depression and suicidal feelings, don't be ashamed or afraid to seek professional help. I pray that you will soon be experiencing the joys of life again, and having a heart filled with true peace and contentment. The potential of that is true for every person. By your choice, and following through, a better life can become your reality. ____________________________________________________ MYRTLE STREET CHURCH OF CHRIST 1022 Myrtle Street Denham Springs, LA 70726 (225) 664-8208 Sunday: 9:15 AM, 10:00 AM, 4:00 PM Wednesday: 7:00 PM evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards (225) 667-4520 e-mail: tedwards@onemain.com web site: http://home.onemain.com/~tedwards/go ____________________________________________________