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THE GOSPEL OBSERVER
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"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching
them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you
always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19,20).
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January 11, 2004
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Love Does Not Act Unbecomingly
by Tom Edwards
As we continue thinking about love, 1 Corinthians 13:5
describes it as that which "doth not behave itself unseemly";
or, as the NASB translates it, love "does not act
unbecomingly." The Random House Webster's College Dictionary
defines "unbecomingly" as "detracting from one's appearance,
character, or reputation; unattractively or unseemly: `an
unbecoming hat; unbecoming language.'"
The New King James Version, as well as the NIV and the
RSV, renders this verse as, love "does not behave rudely."
Love, therefore, is courteous. It manifests the proper behavior
and causes one to conduct oneself in a manner above reproach.
Concerning this passage, William Barclay states, "There
is a graciousness in Christian love which never forgets that
courtesy and tact and politeness are lovely things."
The importance of all this can be seen in numerous Bible
instructions. For instance, Paul states, "Only let your
conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that
whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of
your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind
striving together for the faith of the gospel" (Phil. 1:27).
In 1611, when the King James Version was written, the word
"conversation" meant much more than merely one's talk.
Rather, it referred to one's manner of life, behavior, or
conduct; and is, thus, translated as "conduct" in the NASB.
We are to, therefore, conduct ourselves "in a manner worthy of
the gospel."
Similarly, in writing to Timothy, Paul exhorted him to
"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the
believers, in word, in conversation (conduct, NASB), in
charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (1 Tim. 4:12).
As someone once said, "Manners often give the measure of
a man"; and we can clarify that this also pertains to a woman.
In Luke 7:44-47, for instance, we read of a woman who humbly
and lovingly washed the Lord's feet with her tears and her
hair. She also kissed those feet and anointed them with
perfume. This was said in contrast to the behavior of Simon who
did not give the Lord any water for his feet when entering
Simon's house, nor give Him a kiss of greeting, nor anoint the
Lord's head with oil. The woman, on the other hand, was
compelled to humbly behave in the lavishly respectful manner
she did because of the love that she had for Jesus. If our
manners our lacking, perhaps it could mean, at times, that our
love for others is also lacking -- or that we are allowing
other things to obstruct that love.
The Hebrew writer instructed the brethren to "Let your
conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such
things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee,
nor forsake thee" (Heb. 13:5). Here the term "conversation" is
translated as "character" in the NASB. Greed, therefore, is a
flaw in one's character. It is not how God made man to be; and,
therefore, to be motivated by greed would be acting
unbecomingly -- especially in the eyes of the Lord.
By having good role models, however, we can be instilled
and encouraged with the proper behavior. The Hebrew writer
continues in Hebrews 13:7, by saying, "Remember them which
have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of
God; whose faith follow, considering the end of their
conversation (conduct, NASB)." The holy behavior of these
individuals taught a lesson in itself for the others around
them. I have often admired those people who never seem to lose
control even when all appears to be going wrong in their lives.
Rather than flying off the handle or having to throw around a
few heated and insulting words, they deal with those difficult
and trying situations in a very dignified and calm manner. The
godliness of their behavior remains intact, and they remain the
better for it.
Peter writes, "But as he which hath called you is holy,
so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (behavior, NASB)"
(1 Pet. 1:15). Because God is holy, we need to be holy, too.
As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once stated, "Behavior is a
mirror in which everyone displays his image"; and since we
have been created in God's image (Gen. 1:26,27), we need to
strive to reflect that kind of godly character.
In 1 Peter 2:12, Peter also encourages the brethren toward
"Having your conversation (behavior, NASB) honest among the
Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers,
they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify
God in the day of visitation." Is this not indicating that
these particular slanderers were eventually converted through
the behavior of those whom they had been falsely accusing? The
good and honest behavior of the Christians could have a
life-changing impact upon these others, and for the better.
Peter also spoke of that type of influence concerning the
believing wife toward her unbelieving husband in 1 Peter 3:1,2:
"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own
husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the
word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their
wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."
By the wife so doing, her actions could "speak louder than
words," as the old cliche goes. Her godly conduct can have a
positive effect upon her husband.
Many of us live without a spouse, but there is still
certainly a need to set forth the proper example for the world,
for ourselves, and for God. In view of the fact that this
entire universe will one day be destroyed by fire when "the
day of the Lord will come," Peter rhetorically asks, "...what
sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness,
looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God..."
(vv. 11,12). Since without holiness, no man shall see the Lord
(cf. Heb. 12:14), then how important that is in our lives.
Other phrases or concepts are also used in the Scriptures
that express the need for us to be of the proper behavior. In
Matthew 5:14-16, for example, Jesus shows that His followers
are to be like a beacon of righteousness to the world: "You
are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be
hidden. Nor do men light a lamp, and put it under the
peck-measure, but on the lampstand; and it gives light to all
who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a
way that they may see your good works, and glorify your father
who is in heaven."
Similarly, Paul writes: "Do all things without grumbling
or disputing; that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and
innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a
crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as
lights in the world." Certainly, to grumble, murmur, or
complain is not to be the conduct of the Christian; it would be
an unseemly thing to do. Grumbling, however, often seems so
innocent to many individuals; but let us not forget what
happened to Israel in the wilderness because of their
murmuring. According to Numbers 11:1, "Now the people became
like those who complain of adversity in the hearing of the
Lord; and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled, and
the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some of
the outskirts of the camp." Some of their gripes are listed
in Numbers 20:1-5. They complained because they had no water
(which might seem legitimate to some folks); but we sometimes
complain of our water bill. They complained because the land
did not grow grain, figs, vines, or pomegranates; but we
sometimes growl when our food -- which we have in abundance --
is not seasoned quite right. The point being: If Israel could
not be justified in their complaining, then how could we, in
ours?
In Numbers 21:4-7, the people had become "impatient
because of the journey." They spoke against God and Moses,
saying, "Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the
wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe
this miserable food." How did God react? "And the Lord sent
fiery serpents among the people and they bit the people, so
that many people of Israel died."
Murmuring or complaining is just one of the ways a person
can act unseemly. How else could one's speech be wrong? As
Jesus shows in Matthew 12:36,37, we will be judged for not only
what we do, but also for what we say. If our words, therefore,
are words of gossip, slander, lies, or profanity, they will not
only mar our reputation, but also ruin us for the day of
judgment. Consider Ephesians 4:25: "Therefore, laying aside
falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for
we are members of one another."
It was Samuel Johnson who once said that "Language is the
dress of thought." And not only the words themselves, but
consider also what someone else has mentioned concerning this:
"The tones of the voice, the look of the eye, the muscular
play of the countenance, are not physical facts only, but
expressions and languages that have modulation, accent,
emphasis, direct from the soul. Thus attended, our words take
on other, fuller, more inspiriting meanings than those drawn
from the dictionary; so that a man's face, figure, gesture,
attitude, give a personal import to what emanates from his
heart." Can we even begin to imagine how the Lord's face
appeared to Peter, after he looked upon Him from a distance,
soon after having denied the Lord three times?
But getting back to the superficial nature of just the
words themselves, what does the use of profanity, gossiping, or
lying tell you about the one doing such? It certainly would not
be anything good. For the one who uses profanity is profane
himself. The one given to gossiping is a gossiper, and the one
who would lie is a liar. This all becomes not just something
one does, but a part of that person's very character. His life
becomes marked by his actions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes had a poetic way of expressing the
words that one uses: "Language is the blood of the soul into
which thoughts run and out of which they grow." What kind of
language, therefore, are we feeding our souls with? Would it be
the language of God or that which He would loathe? Solomon
pointed out in Proverbs 23:7 that as a man "thinketh in his
heart, so is he...."
Indecent dress would also fall under the category of doing
something unseemly. Paul states in 1 Timothy 2:9,10 that women
are to "...adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and
discreetly...." Someone once said, "The body is the shell of
the soul, and dress the husk of that shell; but the husk often
tells what the kernel is." We should ask ourselves, "What
kind of `kernel' does the world see us as being?" Improper
dress applies, of course, to not merely women; but to men as
well.
Not treating people with the proper respect would also be
an example of not acting seemly. Jesus tells the parable in
Luke 18, for instance, of a certain judge who "did not fear
God, and did not respect man." Both of these were definitely
faults in his life. When instructing the married, Paul states,
"Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own
wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she
respect her husband." In Ephesians 6:2, children are to honor
their father and mother; and when addressing the Christians,
Peter writes: "Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God,
honor the king" (1 Pet. 2:17). In Romans 13:7, Paul states:
"Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due;
custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom
honor." "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give
preference to one another in honor" (Rom. 12:10). And
concerning a slave-master relationship where there would even
be unfairness: "Servants, be submissive to your masters with
all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but
also to those who are unreasonable" (1 Pet. 2:18).
We have learned today that another aspect of love is that
it does not act unbecomingly; which means it is not rude, nor
does it show itself in an improper manner; but rather with a
behavior that is moral, decent, and above reproach. May that
always be true of each of us, as we work toward developing more
of God's love in our lives.
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MYRTLE STREET CHURCH OF CHRIST
1022 Myrtle Street
Denham Springs, LA 70726
(225) 664-8208
Sunday: 9:15 AM, 10:00 AM, 4:00 PM
Wednesday: 7:00 PM
evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards (225) 667-4520
e-mail: tedwards@onemain.com
web site: http://home.onemain.com/~tedwards/go
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