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The Gospel Observer
"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching them to
observe all that I commanded you, and lo, I am with you always, even to
the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19,20).
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September 2, 1990
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Contents:
1) Six Steps To A Broken Home (Bill Hall)
2) "I Don't Love Her Anymore" (Greg Gwin)
3) Connubial Reflections (selected)
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-1-
Six Steps To A Broken Home
by Bill Hall
A home is seldom destroyed "overnight." Its destruction is usually the
result of certain fatal steps taken over a lengthy period of
time. In these days, when so many homes are crumbling, we would
do well to examine our own marital relationships, to see if we have
begun to travel the road to inevitable breakup. The following steps
lead down that road.
1. Selfishness. This may be the
number one enemy of a happy life.
Each person is doing his own thing. Neither is willing to give up what
he wants to do, that wholesome activities may be enjoyed
together. Each is seeking his own satisfaction in material
realms, in sexual activities, or in time spent with relatives, with
little concern for the partner's satisfaction in these matters. The
long road is begun.
2. Intolerance. Faults in one's
partner begin to show up that somehow
had been hidden during the courtship period. Or, if the faults were
evident, they become far more irritating in a day to day, living
together, relationship. Gradually those faults are magnified. Nagging
begins. Each decides that he has made a terrible mistake in his
marriage. Disillusionment sets in.
3. Resignation. Both parties
become resigned to their situation. "We've
made our bed; we will just have to lie in it," they think. No further
effort is made to build a happy home. Communication virtually
ceases. Love begins to fade, and in many cases gives way to
bitterness.
4. End of sexual relations. The
communication barrier soon affects the
sexual relationship, and the couple find themselves no longer enjoying
and fulfilling this God-given purpose in marriage. They have allowed
their marriage to deteriorate into a mere housekeeping
relationship. Such people may be easy pushovers for the next step.
5. Adultery. Temptation can
arise so unexpectedly, and many a person
whose physical needs are not being met at home may yield to the
temptation. Rationalization comes easy in such cases: the person
feels he has never gotten a "fair shake" at home; he deserves this
new-found attention; this true love (?); he is sure someone understands
him for the first time. How deceptive sin is! Considerable time has
passed since our couple took those first steps toward a broken home,
but now their journey is completed. Only one other step remains.
6. Separation. The thing that
has obviously destroyed this home is sin,
but not just the sin of adultery. For selfishness, intolerance, lack of
love, bitterness, and failure to satisfy physical needs (whenever
possible) all constitute sin. We can come to but one conclusion. Sin is
the cause of broken homes. It may be sin on the part of both parties,
or on the part of only one, but a home is broken because of sin.
Consider your own marriage. If repentance is needed, repent. "What God
hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
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-2-
"I Don't Love Her Anymore"
by Greg Gwin
A forty year old man, suffering through the classic "mid-life crisis,"
sat down to talk to a preacher about his problems. He explained how his
marriage of 20 years was no longer satisfying or fulfilling. Finally,
he reached the "bottom line." "I just don't love her anymore," he said.
"What can I do?"
After a brief moment of reflection, the preacher said decisively, "As I
see it, you have only one option." The man perked up with anticipation.
Was the preacher going to suggest a divorce? Would he be free to pursue
the thrilling lifestyle of the younger generation that he had come to
admire? Would this be his chance to regain his fleeting youth? What was
the preacher's advice? ..."Seems to me that the only thing left for you
to do is REPENT and start loving her again."
So often we hear of married couples who complain that they have "fallen
out of love." That's sad -- but it happens. The real issue is: What do
you do when you realize that such a situation exists? The Bible still
says the same thing that it has always said. Husbands are to "love your
wives" (Eph. 5:24), and wives are to "love their husbands" (Titus 2:4).
Please note that these are not just suggestions -- they are
commands. To fail to love your mate is to commit sin! And sin
always requires repentance if there is to be forgiveness. Be careful.
Do not confuse commanded love with the gooey, silly infatuation of a
teenager. It is far more than that. It is a sacrificial love that seeks
the interest of the one loved more than self. It is the kind of love
that Jesus has shown us (Eph. 5:25).
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-3-
Connubial Reflections
"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they
are joined for life -- to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest
on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to
be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of
the last parting" (George Elliot).
"A married man falling into misfortune is more apt to retrieve his
situation in the world than a single one, chiefly because his spirits
are soothed and retrieved by domestic endearments, and his self-respect
kept alive by finding that although all abroad be darkness and
humiliation, yet there is a little world of love at home over which he
is a monarch" (Jeremy Taylor).
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their
labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his
companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another
to lift him up" (Eccl. 4:9,10).
"Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife" (Euripides).
"The bonds of matrimony aren't worth much unless the interest is kept
up" (selected).
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
Himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25).
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The Steps That Lead to Eternal Salvation
1) Hear the gospel,
for that is how faith comes (Rom. 10:17; John 20:30,31).
2) Believe in the
deity of Christ (John 8:24; John 3:18).
3) Repent of sins
(Luke 13:5; Acts 17:30).
4) Confess faith in Christ
(Rom. 10:9,10; Acts 8:36-38).
5) Be baptized in water
for the remission of sins (Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38; 22:16; Rom. 6:3,4;
Gal. 3:26,27; 1 Pet. 3:21).
6) Continue in the faith;
for,
if
not,
salvation
can
be
lost
(Heb. 10:36-39; Rev. 2:10; 2 Pet.
2:20-22).
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First published for the Tri-state church of Christ in Ashland,
Kentucky, at 713 13th Street.
evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards
tedwards1109@gmail.com
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