____________________________________________________ THE GOSPEL OBSERVER "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations...teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19,20). ____________________________________________________ August 14, 1994 ____________________________________________________ "Prim and Proper...But Popular!" by Phil T. Arnold Through the years I have observed several examples of ``Christian'' parents who truly did want their children to be ``prim and proper''--godly in every way...BUT they really didn't want their children to have to be different from others. They didn't want their children to stand apart in dress or participation or conduct or in any way that would cause them to be less than ``popular'' and accepted. They were thus torn between these two choices. They faltered ``between two opinions'' (1 Kings 18:21), and therefore set out on a course of compromise which was destined for failure. These same adult(?) Christians would often be heard to speak with apparent bitterness as they recalled their own godly parents forbidding them from dressing like their friends or attending the dances or going to the ``clubs'' when they were young. Their parents' godly efforts to set them apart from a world that lies in sin apparently was resented. So they are determined to make sure that their own children would never feel such resentment for them! Such makes one wonder if such ``Christians'' are really convinced that Christianity is really the best choice and worth the cost. Have we not yet learned the basic lesson that we ``cannot serve both God and mammon'' (Matthew 6:24), that ``if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him'' (1 John 2:15-17), and ``that friendship with the world is enmity with God'' (James 4:4)? Being a Christian means being "transformed" rather than being ``conformed to this world,'' and such will not bring popularity but often persecution (2 Timothy 3:12). As the Lord prepared His disciples for this reaction of the world to living uniquely for God, so too we would do well as parents to train up our children who will encounter the world's rejection if the Lord Jesus is truly accepted in their lives (John 15:18ff; Proverbs 22:6). Oh, our children might have to miss a ballgame or a troop outing to attend services or a gospel meeting. And they might not be able to wear what all the ``in'' young people are wearing this year. They will even have to be more selective in what they choose for their entertainment. But if they learn the dignity of being different and the value of godliness, we will have their gratitude rather than their resentment. In any case, we will have done our duty as parents attempting to direct their children in righteousness. God forbid that I should live long enough to bury any one of my three children. But if I did, it would be of far greater comfort and value to me to know that they had lived a ``prim and proper,'' godly life; rather than simply knowing that they had been ``popular.'' God says that we can't have both and thus warns, ``Woe to you when all men speak well of you'' (Luke 6:26a). We simply will not be able to please both God and man; and seeking to please men, we will cease to be servants of God (see Galatians 1:10). Which would you want for your children in the day of judgment--the favor of man or the favor of God? (Hebrews 9:27). Which are we choosing for them today? Please bear with the personal references, but when I was growing up (several decades ago), I never attended a dance. I left in the middle of football games to get to services on time. And I never saw the inside of a ``club.'' I believe this speaks more of my parents than myself, and I have to also believe that it contributes to my values and choices today. I had several friends, but I wasn't very well known or popular in school. Sometimes I was even the object of a little ``fun'' for being different. I didn't always see nor appreciate the importance of being different then as I do today. Yet, I love my godly parents deeply (not in spite of being taught and often made to be different but) because of it. ``Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect....'' (Hebrews 12:9a). Let us strive to be parents who strive to make a difference by being different ourselves and by teaching our children to be different also. For there is the greatest dignity in being different when that difference means being one of God's ``own special people'' (1 Peter 2:9ff). -- Via With All Boldness, February 1994, Volume 4, No. 2 ___________________________________________ The Florence Chadwick Syndrome by Rick Lanning The California coast was shrouded in fog that 4th of July morning in 1952. Twenty-one miles to the west on Catalina Island a 34 year old woman waded into the water and began swimming toward California, determined to be the first woman to do so. Her name was Florence Chadwick, and she had already been the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions. The water was numbing cold that July morning, and fog was so thick she could hardly see the boats in her own party. Millions were watching on national television. Several times sharks, which had gotten too close, had to be driven away with rifles to protect the lone figure in the water. As the hours ticked off, she swam on. Fatigue had never been her big problem in these swims, it was the bone-chilling cold of the water. More than fifteen hours later, numbed with the cold, she asked to be taken out. She couldn't go on. Her mother and trainer alongside in the boat told her they were near land. They urged her not to quit. But when she looked toward the California coast, all she could see was the dense fog. A few minutes later she was taken out of the water. It was not until hours later, when her body began to thaw, that she felt the shock of failure. To the reporters she blurted out, ``Look, I'm not excusing myself, but if I could have seen land, I might have made it.'' She had been pulled out just a half mile from the coast! The fog had blinded her eyes, reasoning and heart. Two months later Miss Chadwick swam the same channel and this time she looked beyond the fog through the eye of faith and made it. The moral of this story should be seriously considered by parents who are discouraged and at wits end in the raising of their children. For years you have given heart, body and soul to their development. They have now reached that stage we call ``the impossible years,'' teenagers! They are wanting to be treated like adults, while often acting like immature adolescents. You are indeed going through rough waters. The temptation is to do what thousands of other parents are doing, withdraw the discipline and let them have their own way. The fog blinds your eyes from seeing the finish line. Today's troubles and discouragements keep you from the vision of tomorrow's fulfilled dreams, a young man or woman who is standing tall as a respected citizen in both the kingdom of God (Philippians 3:20), as well as your homeland. The following scenario I have seen repeatedly. Teens in the local church begin drifting toward the back of the auditorium. They want to get as far away from the ``action'' as possible, where they can whisper, pass notes and generally tune out worship of God. The parents, who know full well what is going on, are determined their teen will not backslide. But the teen will not be thwarted, raising his/her rebellious whining up several octaves over the next few weeks. After the non-stop pleading, the frenzied parent gives in and lets Junior join ``the back-pack.'' The pressure clouded their view. If only they had been able to ``see'' that a couple of more years of consistent resistance to peer pressure could have produced a productive, participating Christian, they would not have thrown in the towel. But alas, their child joined the ranks of the lukewarm and were spit out by the Lord (Revelation 3:16). Now the heart-broken parents cry, ``what happened to our child?'' The point is persistence. Persistence to the goal that you and God have set for your child. From cradle to graduation you must never take your eye off the goal, nor relax in your determination to mold that child into ``a vessel of honor, sanctified, meet for the master's use'' (2 Timothy 2:21). The teen years are often the toughest, but remember that they are also the years when you are almost to your goal. Florence Chadwick, numb from the chilled water, and blinded by the fog, quit just minutes from her goal. You, perhaps disheartened by the many pressures your child is facing, are tempted to ease up and cut them slack into the world's ways. Please, look beyond the dense fog that now surrounds you. Keep going. Moments from now the crisis will pass and you will be proud that your child is no longer a struggling teen, but a mature saint. -- Via With All Boldness, February 1994, Volume 4, No. 2 ___________________________________________ "This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success" (Joshua 1:8). ________________________________________ Tri-State CHURCH OF CHRIST 1314 Montgomery Avenue, Ashland, Kentucky 41101 Sunday: 10:00 A.M. Bible class 10:50 A.M. Worship 6:30 P.M. Worship Wednesday: 7:30 P.M. Bible study evangelist/editor: Tom Edwards (606) 325-9742 e-mail: tedwards@zoomnet.net Gospel Observer web site: http://www.zoomnet.net/~tedwards/go ________________________________________